The real ‘Vagina Monologues’

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I enter a hotel room. Somebody obscenely rich is having a cocktail party. Nobody’s there that I know. This bothers me for a few moments, until I realize why: everyone’s face is a huge, pink vagina.

I approach a gentleman in a suit, whose face is of course a huge vagina. I try to make conversation. But all that comes out of my mouth is the word “vagina.”

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Me: (very confused) Vagina! Vagina! Vagina!

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Me: (I step back in horror. I look around me. All the vagina-faced people — guests of the party — are staring. I snap angrily at them) Vagina!!! Vagina vagina vagina vagina!!! Vagina!!!

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Everybody: (embarrased, they drive me out of the party) Vagina…. vagina… Vagina! Vagina vagina!…

Me: (I run out. I crash on tables. I stumble on the door. I’m crying) Vagina… Vagiiiina. Vagina! Vagina vagina vagina!

– END –

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