The Spinal Tap

How to mess with friends who don’t know crap about basic computer stuff. This happened not too long ago.

Friend: hey, r u online?

Me: it isn’t obvious, is it?

F: I’m trying to watch this movie on my PC. There’s no subtitles.

Me: what movie is that?

F: ghost town

Me: Ricky Gervais, British guy?

F: yeah, think so

Me: you’re using what player?

F: VLC

Me: then why do you need subs?

F: the dialogue, the accent, I can’t get to it

Me: okay, do this. Play the movie. Once it’s running, right-click on the center of the screen, a drop-down menu appears

F: okay, wait…

Me: can you see Audio?

F: where is that

Me: right above Video, in the drop-down menu

F: oh, right

Me: Audio, then Enhancements, then click “Remove British Accent”

F: where is this?

Me: I just told you

F: wait…

F: can’t find it.

Me: you can’t find “Remove British Accent?” are you sure?

F: wait.

F: nope, nothing here

Me: that’s strange. Should be there, though. You must be using an old version. Check the version. Click Help, then click About VLC

F: wait

F: where is Help?

Me: see the upper controls of the VLC. There’s Media, etc, then Help.

F: okay

Me: does it say there “Before Christ” or “After Christ?”

F: where do I see that?

Me: should be there under About VLC. It states the version of the software you’re using

F: I see only this

F: VLC media player version 0.9.9 grishenko

Me: dammit. That’s an obsolete version. Im sure that came before they put the “Remove British Accent” feature

F: fuck. Ricky gervais talks fast. I cant understand the guy’s saying

Me: alright, can you check Audio again, then Enhancements, then left-click “Change Accent” then choose “Apply English Accent of Person from Southern India”

F: ok

F: I don’t see it here