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	<title>The Spinal Tap</title>
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	<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com</link>
	<description>JB Lazarte's take on stuff.</description>
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		<title>Friday evening kitsch</title>
		<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/friday-evening-kitsch/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/friday-evening-kitsch/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 May 2010 03:28:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>JB</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Stories And Sketches]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thespinaltap.com/?p=1318</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Look at you. You’re so cool standing there like that guy in that toothpaste TV ad. Sucking air through your teeth. Staring into the glass and thinking, Why the fuck am I here? You’re thinking, This is how Elvis did it.
You gaze across the maddening hyperspace and still, she’s on the bar stool. She laughs [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Waiting for the climax</title>
		<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/waiting-for-the-climax/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/waiting-for-the-climax/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 May 2010 03:16:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>JB</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Verses]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thespinaltap.com/?p=1314</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Usually, it arrives late: the epiphany
Just after I’ve slain a horde of deadwood, met
A dozen dead ends
And nibbled the noon dust, it comes
Fashionably late and hopelessly futile.
Its face the insipid face
Of my defeat.
Often it kisses me
But only after I’ve dug deep into the mire
And traded my soul with the pebbles
I now toy in my hand [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/waiting-for-the-climax/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Texticles</title>
		<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/texticles/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/texticles/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 May 2010 03:09:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>JB</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Verses]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thespinaltap.com/?p=1309</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Sometimes words play trick or treat
Their gnomic, mischievous smiles are helixes
Unskeined
On my blank page;
But when
They do emerge from their cryptic tunnels
They are Midas’ herd, silvered, gossamer
Like a kiss, wet, on my seared skin.
Sometimes my pen salivates; I understand the urge
But not the deft interplay of dark and light—
Why tether them to my finite fancy
When boundless [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/texticles/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fly drowning in a soup of oysters</title>
		<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/fly-drowning-in-a-soup-of-oysters/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/fly-drowning-in-a-soup-of-oysters/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 May 2010 03:05:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>JB</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Verses]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thespinaltap.com/?p=1306</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Within the lungs’ core, the last gasp
Is plucked; the eyeballs’ frenzied stare,
The minute, fevered breath that stains
The aroma of an otherwise piquant
Soup, is monument of trauma
While the thickening froth furthers its death
This fly
Is me in a day of lethargy.
Shoot to the black, this mind
Is free but wanting&#8212;serve
And feed my narcissism whose source
Of fancy fathers my [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/fly-drowning-in-a-soup-of-oysters/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Silverfish</title>
		<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/silverfish/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/silverfish/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 May 2010 02:59:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>JB</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Verses]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thespinaltap.com/?p=1302</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I watched the insect romancing
My page: he was wingless and saddled
With the sureties of his birth—
Of needs that were dendrites
Wrapped around his mind—
Of an understanding
That was less dawn than twilight.
Should I destroy him or not
Was the question that
Badgered me: after all, am I
Not powerful and smarter?
Yet the insect danced
In circles
In loops and in tangents—and scrawled
His [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/05/silverfish/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The world as I see it</title>
		<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/04/the-world-as-i-see-it/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/04/the-world-as-i-see-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Apr 2010 02:19:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>JB</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Unstoppable Silliness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thespinaltap.com/?p=155</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
All so I&#8217;ll-churn-out-copious-amounts-of-nightmares-for-you cute, but would have been better if Nick used some nice adult female.
{Image: Nick Veasey&#8217;s x-ray art}
Other Cool Posts

There&#8217;s a big world out there, and it&#8217;s for sale. All of it.
Why did the chicken cross the road and leap into the red-hot wok?
I am delicate like plastic
Waiting for the climax
When you care [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/04/the-world-as-i-see-it/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How parents teach kids to become perpetual losers</title>
		<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/04/how-parents-teach-kids-to-become-perpetual-losers/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/04/how-parents-teach-kids-to-become-perpetual-losers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Apr 2010 02:09:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>JB</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Guide To Ninja Living]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thespinaltap.com/?p=1298</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Children spend years in an antiquated educational system, studying subjects they will never use, preparing for a world that no longer exists.
&#8220;Today, the most dangerous advice you can give a child is `Go to school, get good grades and look for a safe secure job,&#8217; &#8221; he likes to say. That is old advice, and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/04/how-parents-teach-kids-to-become-perpetual-losers/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>&#8220;Too porny for comfort&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/03/too-porny-for-comfort/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/03/too-porny-for-comfort/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 28 Mar 2010 02:30:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>JB</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anecdotes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thespinaltap.com/?p=1291</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh, hey, it&#8217;s an essay written by me in this month&#8217;s (March 2010) issue of Playboy Philippines. It&#8217;s about, uhh, the you-know-what. Read it aloud to a group of your favorite youngsters, and make them happy forever!

Click on every image to see the large, readable version.
Other Cool Posts

That&#8217;s the thing with greed, Archy. It&#8217;s blind.
The [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/03/too-porny-for-comfort/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Life is an unending series of pregnant pauses</title>
		<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/01/life-is-an-unending-series-of-pregnant-pauses/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/01/life-is-an-unending-series-of-pregnant-pauses/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:03:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>JB</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anecdotes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thespinaltap.com/?p=128</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Some hotel, Manila, 2008:
I&#8217;m walking out of the hotel. Some old man approaches:
Old man: You want a girl, sir?
Me: (a pause) I just came out of there. Didn&#8217;t you see that?
Old man: (smiles, seemingly unsure) But&#8230;you want a girl, sir?
Me: (a pause)
***
February 2000, Doroteo Jose, Avenida:
My hands are full &#8212; I carry two huge boxes [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2010/01/life-is-an-unending-series-of-pregnant-pauses/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>For The Win</title>
		<link>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2009/05/for-the-win/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2009/05/for-the-win/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2009 06:30:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>JB</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Unstoppable Silliness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thespinaltap.com/?p=277</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
 Fast Track: No Limits divx 

Troy divx
 Q: Prove God doesn’t exist.
A:         That’s a tough one. Show me how it’s done by proving Zeus         and Apollo don’t exist, and I’ll use your method.

 buy Octopussy &#8211; Pat Condell

The [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thespinaltap.com/2009/05/for-the-win/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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